


Hindsight 20/20

by Blazeperalta



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, How does this work, I'm real scared to post this, Pining, Pre-Relationship, have I done this right, my first fic ever pls be nice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 05:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19192810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blazeperalta/pseuds/Blazeperalta
Summary: A week after Jake leaves for his undercover mission, Amy can't help but vent to her colleagues about how a certain someone's feelings have left her questioning everything.





	Hindsight 20/20

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo. I've been reading and loving fic for about 10 years but have never written any myself. But I just love this show so much and I miss it and wanted to contribute something to this wonderful and creative fandom during the hiatus. It won't compare to the work I've read on here and honestly, I haven't actually done any creative writing since I was in school (a few years ago lmao) and I've forgotten a lot about grammar so please be gentle. 
> 
> As for this story, I've always been intrigued about Amy's feelings for Jake ESPECIALLY in this time period and I wanted to explore it. It was just going to be Amy and Rosa because I've always been curious about how Rosa finds out about Jake's feelings for Amy and his confession since she brings it up in Jimmy Jab Games, but I couldn't resist adding the other characters in there too. I tried my best with the voices so I hope they're okay. If you think something's off about them, please let me know! I'm open to constructive criticism. ALSO! I'm English, so if you see any British-isms that the characters wouldn't say point them out and I'll change it. 
> 
> If you've gotten this far, thanks a bunch and I hope you enjoy!

Amy Santiago has always prided herself on being good at keeping secrets.

It’s probably a skill that comes with being one of eight siblings, and the only girl at that, because keeping secrets about one brother from another was just a part of growing up. Keeping secrets from her parents was a big no-no. And her teachers. And her Captains, obviously. But anyone that is not keeping a secret from a superior has every reason to expect said secret to be well and truly safe.

Which is why it’s such a surprise when one week after Jake left for his undercover mission, she spills her heart out to Rosa, Boyle and Gina about something she thought would be just as much of a shock to them as it was to her.

Apparently not.

The precinct’s been feeling off for the last week. As annoying and obnoxious as Peralta was (is, she reminds herself), his voice and his bets and his antics and his general being just brought a specific type of energy to the Nine-Nine. She’s experienced the lull on the very limited times he’s taken a sick day in the last 3 years she’s known him, not to mention the short time he just had off after getting suspended. But back then she’d always known he’d be back. Now he’s working with the freaking Mafia. It’s a big deal and she’s happy for him of course and when she first found out about it all she could really think about was the amount of bragging she’d have to put up with when he gets back. But after her conversation with him right before he left, all she can do now is worry about him.

If something bad goes down.

Evidently, the rest of the squad feel the same way because after a full Jake-less week at work they all agree for a few drinks at Shaw’s to get drunk and vent any worries that comes with one of your colleagues getting fake-fired and going undercover with a strict ‘no contact’ rule and hanging out with a bunch of criminals that can kill him at any second and _oh God_ she suddenly can’t breathe again.

So she’s been sitting there pretty numb ever since they’ve arrived and has been silently sipping on her beer. She also knows Teddy’s been texting her asking if she’s still heading over to his apartment tonight but she can't bring herself to text back. Which is wrong, she's aware, but she’s enjoying half-listing to the conversation the others are having about Jake (they haven’t really expressed any worries since they got here - it’s mainly just reminiscing about the ridiculous things he did before he left).

But then Holt goes home to his husband, Terry to his family, Hitchcock and Scully to whatever it is that Hitchcock and Scully do, and Amy still can’t bring herself to go to Teddy’s. Out of guilt she sends him a quick text saying she doesn’t feel well after drinks and is heading to her own place. Teddy of course texts back with an “I understand. Feel better” and it only makes her feel worse for lying to her perfect boyfriend.

“You’re being quiet, Santiago”. Rosa’s abrupt voice snaps her out of her own thoughts and she glances up from her phone.

“Sorry,” Amy replies.

“That wasn’t a complaint”.

Amy looks around the table at the remaining members of the squad and is suddenly mindful of the fact that they all look concerned for her. It puts her at ease slightly. These people will understand what she’s going through. Holt and Terry care a great deal about Jake. She knows they see him as a son, whether they want to or not, but at the end of the day they both have a spouse - someone else to vent to. And she doesn’t feel like this is something she can vent to Teddy about

Gina of all people gives her a sympathetic look. “Ames, Jake leaving sucks balls but we’re all here for the same reason.”

“Yeah, I don’t know who I am without Jake!” Charles is heading towards hysteria again. She’s seen it a lot from him this past week. “I need a shoulder to cry on! And because I don't have Jake’s broad shoulders, you three are going to have to do!”.

Rosa pipes in again, this time in a softer voice. Well, as soft as Rosa can sound anyway. “Yeah. Look, as much as I hate…feelings. The last thing I want is for you to have a breakdown in the middle of work because you haven't dealt with what’s going on. So suck it up, man.”

Amy risks another glance at her colleagues. Gina wasn’t supposed to find out about the undercover mission but somehow figured it out anyway. She's Jake's oldest friend -known him since they were children and she stood up for him when one of the other kids stole his inhaler - Gina knew him too well to think he cut her out of his life just because he got fired. Rosa was Jake’s closest friend in the Academy; both brilliant at the time but not nearly as brilliant as they are now, and Amy knows her friendship is a big reason why Jake made it through. Charles became like Jake's brother when they were both already detectives. He always thought the world of Jake, and Amy suspects that feeling has since become mutual.

They were all Jake’s partners in some way, shape or form throughout all the most important moments in his life. And they’ve lost him for an undisclosed amount of time too. Now Amy’s definitely feeling brave.

She exhales, dragging out the pause for as long as possible. “Right before Jake left…he told me something that kind of threw me.”

She expects them to jump in - as the Nine-Nine is known to do - but they all just stare at her, eyebrows raised and drinks on the table.

“He told me he liked me. Romantic-stylez”

Rosa’s face doesn't give much away but Amy thinks she sees her eyes widen a fraction. Gina silently sips her wine while giving Amy a knowing look. And Charles—

“HE TOLD YOU??”

All of a sudden, Amy’s jaw drops. So much for being numb. “You knew?”

“Of course I knew! Who do you think urged him to ask you out?”

“He didn’t ask me out”

“Oh, my sweet naive Amy. You have no idea what you have put that boy through in the last few months.”

The words exchanged with Charles has left Amy pretty much speechless. Here she’s been feeling bad because she thought she was spilling this big secret that was supposed to be between her and Jake. Apparently Charles already knows, and Jake tried to ask her out?

Rosa and Gina were watching the whole interaction while casually sipping on their respective drinks and enjoying the free show. It piques her interest.

“Did you guys know?”

At that, Gina finally puts her glass down and licks the last remaining drops of red wine off her lips.

“No offence ‘cause you're a good detective, but I think you're the only one who didn’t, boo.”

“Wait, so he told everyone except me?”

“He didn't have to. I think the only person he actually told was Ter-bear. Everyone else kind of figured it out.”

Rosa, never one to skirt around a subject, asks the question that has been on Amy’s mind for the last seven days, “You really didn’t know?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean Gina’s right, you’re a good Detective. And Jake’s been openly flirting with you since you started working with him.”

“Okay, that’s not fair. Jake and I never even got along when I first started at the Nine-Nine, and there’s a difference between flirting and bickering. He's like that with everyone.”

Rose scoffs, “he’s not like that with me.”

“Or me.”

“Or me”, Charles sounds sad for some reason.

“Look”, Rosa continues, “Don’t worry about it too much. I’ve known Jake a long time and he’s never going to do something to make you feel uncomfortable. If he does, tell me and I’ll kick his ass."

“No, you’re right. I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, I’m just shocked. How long has he even felt this way?”

“Longer than he realised,” Charles butts in, “but he didn’t admit it until you ran into Teddy at Tactical Village."

Everyone gives him a look.

“Oh, was that a rhetorical question?”

“Yep,” says Rosa.

“Dammit!”

“So what exactly did he tell you?” Amy never took Rosa as the type that was invested in her friends’ personal lives, but maybe she cares more than she normally lets on.

“He saw me and walked over and made a joke. Normal Jake stuff at first. Then he suddenly seemed nervous so I asked what was wrong. He said he knows I’m with Teddy and he didn’t want to be a jerk but that he wished something had happened between us…romantically. And that he would be pissed at himself if he hadn’t told me and something bad happens while he’s undercover.”

She’s paraphrasing like she hasn’t had every single word he said memorised verbatim from the second they crossed his lips.

“What happened after that?” Charles asks with freakin’ tears in his eyes as if he’s just watched the cheesiest proposal video on YouTube.

“He just left. Didn’t even give me a chance to respond.”

“Well what would you have said, girl?” Asks Gina.

“I don’t know”, Amy admits. “I was so shocked. I always thought the teasing and banter were just some sort of competitive part of his personality. Now I can’t help but think of every interaction we’ve had ever since I’ve met him and pick it apart. I mean this is Jake Peralta we’re talking about! I didn’t know he had feelings!”

This time, it’s her turn to be the recipient of judging looks.

“You know what I mean.”

“Amy,” Charles sincerely looks at her, “I honestly think he’s the greatest person who ever lived. But Jake’s never been great at emotions. I had to basically spell it out for him that night he won the bet and took you out on that date.”

“Yeah”, Gina quips “If the blatant flirting wasn’t enough of a clue, fake-proposing to you and spending a fortune that he didn’t have on a bet where his prize was _literally a date with you_ kind of gave it away.”

“Oh, God”. She spreads her arms out on the sticky table that must not have been cleaned all day, getting whatever alcohol has accumulated since on her fancy new blouse, and lets her head fall onto them.

The relief team. She knew he turned down the relief team. She remembered thinking it was weird at the time, and he never brought it back up which was even weirder. She remembers how upset he got when she told him she might be moving to Major Crimes. She remembers that he framed a picture of the two of them and put it next to his desk. She remembers that he wrote her a recommendation letter. She remembers _it still goes on the good date list_ and _it sucks a little less when I get to do it with you_ and _you look great_.

And now that she thinks back, maybe he did look a little bummed when she told him she was going out with Teddy and when she told him she’s going away for the weekend with Teddy and when she said she wanted to take a dance class with Teddy. She’s thinking back to every interaction she’s had with Jake in the last few months and hates herself for it. She knows she shouldn’t. She hasn’t done anything wrong, point blank. But Jake’s her partner. Her friend. The person that makes her laugh more than anyone in the world (though she wouldn’t admit it) and she hates that she hurt him - intentionally or not. Jake having feelings for her is the last thing she wants, but it’s also surely the last thing he wants too. It’s inconvenient and messy and things will probably be awkward when he gets back. And she knows it’s a long wait until then.

“I juuuu vaa to tallll to hii abooo id n i cannn”

“What?” Rosa sounds annoyed. “Get your head off the table”.

Amy shoots her head back up. She looks pained; her brow’s furrowed and her frown prominent.

“I just want to talk to him about it and I can’t.”

It’s normal for Gina to give her a look of pity, but Charles? She’s feeling really pathetic right now. Rosa’s face remains indecipherable but Amy _knows_.

“I guess I’m also pretty mad at him for dropping this bomb on me when he knew he was leaving.”

“I get that.” Rosa admits, “Jake could have handled this better. But I think if he wasn’t going undercover, he would have taken this secret to his grave. At least as long as you’re with Teddy. The undercover thing was probably the push he needed. It sucks for you, but people do crazy shit when the stakes are high.”

“Okay, it wasn’t like an admission of love or anything, it was admitting to a crush. He’ll probably come back with a girlfriend having forgotten all about it.”

There’s that look of pity again.

And when he eventually comes back six months later and she tells him she's still with Teddy, he tries to take back what he said. Which hurts her feelings for some reason. But he gives her that look. She knows that look now; recognises it from the other times she mentioned her boyfriend. Hindsight 20/20 and all that. Later that same day he takes it back again and tells her he meant it and he still does, but he respects her relationship with Teddy.

It’s frustrating and infuriating and it confuses her to no end. It takes an undercover mission and a further six months away from everything he knows for Jake to fully admit his feelings.

It takes Amy a lot more than that to admit hers.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so Jake's my favourite character and he's not even in my first story lol. He plays a big part in it anyway though, right?? I was trying to find a way to put Gina and Charles' fling in there because it would have happened only a week before this did but I couldn't really find a way do it. I'm super nervous about this but please let me know what you think! Also if you want to scream about the show and peraltiago my Tumblr is blazeperalta I will scream about it with you.
> 
> Thanks for reading friends!


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